PC: The Manta Resort

Nearly everyone I talked to when I was pregnant told me that a “Babymoon is a MUST!”

…And it is, believe me, it is. But let me take a little detour here while I calm your ever-troubled, trying to do it all and buy it all before baby comes nesting-mama heart. It might just be me, but the M word (must) imposes varying degrees of stress, pressure, and guilt if things don’t go as planned. Hearing “A glider in the nursery is a must-have!” led me to weeks of sleepless nights fretting over not being able to find a glider in our price range, so I use the words “Must” and “Have” very lightly nowadays. Especially around mothers.

So, yes, babymoons are amazing and I highly encourage you all to plan one, with every new addition, but go easy on yourself and plan something reasonable. Something you’ll enjoy doing and enjoy planning.

It doesn’t have to be exotic or extravagant. Do not –I repeat, DO NOT- get hung up thinking this is an All or Nothing event. It doesn’t have to be Maui or Bust. Don’t get frustrated planning something you can’t afford or that doesn’t fit into the schedule right now. Pick a place and time that works for you and make the most of it. It’s less about where you go and more about what you’re doing and what it signifies.

This is your chance to revel in selfishness, spontaneity, and alone time.

You can do that ANYWHERE as long as you set aside the time. Think of it as a state of mind. For some people, getting away and going somewhere they love is the only way to rediscover that long, lost dust-covered state of mind. For others, it’s a switch that can be turned on right at home. Figure out what works for you, and what’s realistic, and start planning something that will help you get the most out of your last hoorah before baby comes. I’m going to share my personal opinions and advice about what I wanted out of my babymoon, but remember these are not must’s or have-to’s and you can tweak it anyway you want! Keep doin’ you, Mama!

WHEN?

The ideal time to go on your Babymoon is between weeks 20 and 30. By 20 weeks, you’re far enough along that the “cat is out of the bag,” you likely know the gender (if you’re planning on finding out), you look and feel pregnant, and you’re hopefully out of the woods as far as morning sickness and nausea goes. Big milestones and checkpoints are over for a little while and, in my experience, those 10 weeks between finding out the gender and hitting the downhill slope were the longest. There were so many exciting and suspenseful moments during the first 20 weeks that time flew by, but it started crawling shortly thereafter. Once you hit 30 weeks, you’re going to be bigger, more uncomfortable, and it will become more risky to travel away from your doctor. Plan a trip to give you something to look forward to and help time pass in those slow weeks before the exciting final countdown starts ticking.

WHERE?

Like I said before, Where is probably the least important factor in planning your Babymoon. That being said, it also tends to be the first thing we plan as well as the most exciting part, so enjoy it! There is no one right place; take a road trip to the nearest big city or a flight to the farthest beach. Go somewhere you can relax and take it easy, somewhere you can enjoy some alone time with your spouse, somewhere you can be lazy and spontaneous –two things you’ll rarely ever be again.

WHAT?

What to do?

Lay by a pool, sleep in, read a book, take a bubble bath, go to a movie, see a play, and do as much shopping as your tired feet will permit. The key is rest and relaxation, sleeping on your own terms, and calling the shots before baby arrives and starts doing it for you.

What not to do?

In addition to following regular pregnancy precautions and doctors orders, don’t let this precious alone time go to waste by allowing your trip to revolve around baby-planning. Enjoy the thought of your little bundle during your trip, but don't plan your whole vacation around him/her. Take advantage of this time to focus on your spouse and your marriage. Soak up every minute of this therapeutic alone time. You’re going to need to be on the same team, emotionally connected, when that little guy makes his arrival and rocks your world. This is it’s own form of baby planning, in my opinion. Some of the most important prep-work you can do before a big game are team-building exercises, so invest in your team-mate one last time before game day!

WHY?

Life is about to change in a big way. A good way. Sleep, attention, alone time, personal hygiene habits, and emotional stability are about to become fewer and farther between. You and your spouse owe it to one another to set aside some quality time together. Think of it as an early thank-you gift; thanking each other for giving each other the gift of parenthood, for the sacrifices you’re both about to make, for the immeasurable happiness you’re both about to feel, for the unconditional love, support, and encouragement that is about to ensue. Thank each other now. While you have the time and energy.