Starting out as a new mom you expect that you will be able to do EVERYTHING you think a mom should. You are basically like a multitasking superhero!
At least that's what I thought. But as I settled more into motherhood, I realized even superheroes have a sidekick to help sometimes. LET GO of any outside or inside nagging voices that make you questions whether you are living up to everyone's expectations as a mother, because they can be very unreasonable.
Perfection is Not Real
On social media we are constantly seeing so many other moms "having it all together." This makes me strive to do more, setting very unrealistic expectations for myself, my house, and my kids. Reminding myself that no one has it all together all of the time helps me not get overwhelmed. Also knowing that others have babysitters, housekeepers, or family members who help keep the grass where they are so green REALLY kept my perspective from getting too skewed.
Quality Over Quantity
Whether you work outside the home or stay home with the kids, focusing on the value of time you spend with your kids can help assuage those feelings of guilt because you'll feel proud of the efforts you're making. Being present in little moments with my child helps me feel like the quality of our time is more outweighing the quantity. And that helps relieve some of the pressure.
Find Your Support System
I found that asking for and accepting help was really hard. I needed to learn how to let go of some shame and guilt for not getting everything done or for asking for help. Accepting the fact that it actually does take a village to raise a child was one of the kindest things I did for myself.
I think as we figure out what parts of motherhood are challenging for us, we should find help when we need it. Whether it be a babysitter to run a few errands or a grocery delivery service, we all can use a little help carry the load. And there is not shame in that. There are times I do still feel the mom guilt creeping in, but I know that by looking for the joy in my day-to-day tasks, I can teach my kids how important it is to not let those feelings of inadequacy take over.