Now that you've said "I do" and the blissful state of honeymoon love is over, you may feel like everything you do revolves around your marriage and your children. While being family oriented and maintaining a healthy marriage is important, it is easy to lose yourself in the daily grind of taking care of everyone else but yourself (trust me, momma, I've been there)! You may find that you don't know who you are anymore, outside of being a mom and wife. You may feel confused about what to do with your life. And maybe you are overwhelmed with frustration because you so desperately want someone to support your own ambitions. Here are my tips on how to be an individual in your marriage!
Embrace Your Daydreams
You know those fleeting little images that dance across your brain while you're going about your day? The ones that make you smile and light a fire within you? Those are the dreams that make you,
you! Pay attention to them, love them, embrace them.
When you accept your dreams as your own, they become yours. They become a part of you. They make you an individual. Personally, I am a hard core daydreamer. A lot of my dreams are focused on family, but there are a special few reserved just for me. Those are the ones that make me feel like I am my own person outside of being a wife and mother.
Make A Game Plan
Put those daydreams down on paper and make a solid game plan. Figure out the logistics of how you will turn those dreams into goals, then lay out a realistic timeline that works for you and your family. Even though your aspirations are your own, they will still affect your family. This doesn't mean it's a bad thing, it's just more of a reason to make a plan and discuss it with the family. So, put the kids to bed and have a little chat with your spouse. Tell him that you need his support. That is key. If your spouse doesn't support you in this endeavor, there is a high chance you won't follow through.
Be prepared to have an open, honest discussion of why this is important to you and why it should be important to him too. Lay out a plan together to get your dream out of the clouds and into reality!
Pencil Out Time For You
Whether or not you have personal goals to achieve, you still need time for yourself. This is actually really important for those of you who have no idea what
personal goals you want to set for yourself.
Having alone time can give you time to catch your breath, ponder and figure out who you are! Make some time each week to take a
solo trip out of the house. Whether you are going to the gym, meditating in your favorite isle at Target, or grabbing a cup of joe at the cutest coffee shop in town, make that time for you!
Stick To Your Guns
You know that
one thing as a parent that you are adamant about? Maybe it's a strict nap time, or cracking down on TV time? Hold yourself to that same standard. Your children will watch what you do and learn how to be successful in life by watching you hold yourself to the same expectations that you hold your family to. In that same breath, be confident and stand up for yourself when need be. Don't let criticism get you down, and don't allow anyone to bully you, even your spouse. Be open to advice, but know the difference between belittling behavior, and an opinion or observation conceived out of genuine love and concern. Be prepared to stand your ground if need be.
Part of being an individual in your marriage is understanding that it's acceptable to pursue goals and hobbies that only benefit you.
Make yourself a priority, mamas! You deserve it! Whether you have big dreams or want to pursue a small hobby, take charge of your life and do it! Making time for yourself and allowing your dreams to become reality is a fantastic way of being an individual in your marriage!
