I'm a Working Mom: The Best Compliment I Ever Got

So my husband no joke, gave me the best compliment he has ever given me in our four years of marriage. Nope, it wasn't that I looked amazing that day. Nope, not that I had made the most amazing meal ever. Not even that I was the woman of his dreams (cause I am ;) ). You see, this week was crazy tiring for so many reasons. We had something every night, and on this particular day of the week I had to also go to the dentist and then go visit a lady in my church - something my church calls "visiting teaching."

 Did you see that though? He called me HARD CORE. Do you know what that kind of phrase does for a full-time employee, full-time mom, Type-A, do-it-all-yourself kind of woman? AMAZING things. That's what. You see, I pride myself on being able to do it all. I always knew I wanted to be a working mom. And that is no easy task, in case you didn't know. Working mothers are not only expected to be 110% committed to their careers, but they tend to also be the primary caregivers in the household. I don't say that for you to feel sorry for any working women. I mean, I can't speak for all, but I carry the mantle of primary caregiver because I want to. I don't want to give up being a mom for my career. I want both. And guess what? My husband's compliment tells me that I'm getting just that.  Although I have an "I can do it all" mentality, I think there is some clarification needed for those of you reading this that are thinking, "Man, I could never do it all!" Because the truth is, you can't. Not if you're not willing to give up a few minor things. Let me illustrate. My sister brought to my attention the other day that for lots of common proverbs. there are rejoinders at the end that complete them.

"Curiosity killed the cat"-"but satisfaction brought it back."

"Jack of all trades, master of none" - "though oftentimes better than master of one."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - "but also makes the eye wander"

"Great minds think alike" - "but fools seldom differ."

And now, let me add my own rejoinder or amendment:

You can have it all - if you give up "perfection".

 If you choose to "lean in" or "do it all" you have to realize there are limits. You are only human, after all. And truly, that is why I always wanted to be a working mother. Not for the fame. Not for the glory. Not even for the extra money. But for the fact that when you are so incredibly busy, when every part of you is strained, you start to strip away all of the unneeded "essentials".

My daughter does not need to look 10000% put together every day. She's already adorable. 

My husband does not need a gourmet meal every night. A frozen lasagna & salad are just dandy. 

I do not need to send "Thank You" cards to everyone for every little thing they do. An in-person and sincere thank-you when the deed is done will more than likely suffice. 

Not everything in my house needs to be perfectly organized and labeled. Besides, I hear that some disorganization drives creativity.

These are all things on my "to-do" list that don't have to be done. They are extras and they are fun, and honestly I do get to them every once in awhile which makes for some fun change ups in routine. But in reality, they are extras. They are not what is going to keep my household running or my family happy in the long run.

                                   

My daughter will be happy because I was able to cut down my daughter's getting dressed time by 10 minutes by sticking her hair in a pony tail instead of that super complicated braid and giggle and talk to her face-to-face instead. 

My husband is pretty addicted to all things bread and pasta, so frozen lasagna will do him just fine. 

Actually talking to my friend about how their actions benefited me will enable me to properly communicate my gratitude and perhaps find a way to help her as well. 

A somewhat organized house will help people feel comfortable and like we actually live there, not just pose it.

Those who are hard core are the ones who are able to recognize what is truly necessary to create the life they want to live. They can sift through all of the noise of what others are telling you your life has to look like, and are instead choosing what their life is actually going to be. When you can recognize those things, mama, you will be hard core. You will be dedicated. You will be committed. And, as a viral workout clothing video once put it: "you will want to succeed more than you will want to breath." Because you will know you can have it all - if you give up "perfection".