It wasn’t until I had my second baby that I knew how much I needed extra help in the first days, weeks, and months after giving birth. No matter what number baby you are on, we all know that our bodies have gone through a lot of changes. It has grown a human, which is amazing and exhausting… so you NEED help, but some of us can find it hard to ask for what we know we need. Sometimes its even hard to know exactly what would be helpful! So here is my list of things that I found I could ask friends and family, and it was helpful.
Ask for meals
I think this is well known and a lot of people are already expecting to do it. Your body is recovering, and you need good, nourishing food. Don’t feel like you can’t ask for meals! I would ask a sister or close friend to make a meal train and get it filled.
Ask for help with simple chores
If I was visiting a new mom and she asked if I would wash a few dishes or sweep the floor, I would jump at it! You need this! And it's such a simple task that someone could get done quickly. Having to see the housework pile up as you are enjoying that new bundle of joy is stressful. So take some stress off and let your loved ones help you do that.
Ask for someone to come watch baby
I think this one depends on if you have someone you trust and feel confident in asking, but it is a big one for me. Having my sister come over and hold and love baby while I napped or showered was so nice, as was having someone on call if I needed or wanted to run a quick errand. Getting out with a new baby can feel overwhelming, so knowing you can go out for just a bit on your own is reassuring.
Ask for help with older kids
If you already have kids at home, you know it's hard to keep up with them when you bring new baby home. They may still have school or extracurricular activities, and can't just stay at home with you. You can ask for someone to help with their schedules, to take them to the park, or out for ice cream. That way you can snuggle baby in bed, and they can have some fun one-on-one time.
Let people know you don’t want company
THIS!!! It took me a minute to find my voice and let others know I was not up for a visit, and that I really didn't feel like entertaining them. It's okay if you don’t want people stopping in. Let them know you are excited for them to meet baby in the future!